| How many of you have been so angry that you could | | | | subconsciously reacting. Could it be that you are |
| not see straight? Perhaps you are upset with another | | | | longing for them to ask for forgiveness? |
| or have stressful relationships. If you would like to | | | | Moreover, perhaps your reaction creates a chain |
| create more harmony with others, it is possible. | | | | effect, whereby, the other person responds to your |
| I have a family member who used to get under my | | | | feedback by simply becoming more aggressive in their |
| skin so badly that I never wanted to pick up the phone. | | | | approach. Could it now be that they too |
| I would literally cringe when I recognized who was on | | | | subconsciously wish for an apology from you? In |
| the other end of the line. Oftentimes, I simply ignored | | | | effect, this pattern creates a vicious cycle of |
| her. She was not a bad person. I was simply angry | | | | destructive consequences. |
| with her for things she did that irritated me, | | | | However, is requiring forgiveness creating harmony? |
| exacerbated by the fact that she often tried to tell me | | | | Requiring forgiveness insinuates that another person |
| how to act or do something. | | | | must bow down to you, an act of putting yourself in a |
| Perhaps you know of someone who similarly makes | | | | superior position to him or her. This is, by definition, |
| you recoil. It could be anyone who generates the | | | | judgment. Therefore, by seeking vindication, are you |
| emotions of anger, guilt, shame or fear within you. | | | | not acting in a similar judgmental way? As this pattern |
| Â Could it be that the person is your mother, father, | | | | continues, it seems as if you are at an impasse. Only |
| sibling, or friend? On the other hand, it may be a | | | | when both parties agree, by being neutral, can a |
| person who you once trusted, but later, proved to give | | | | solution be resolved. How can you overcome such |
| you reservation. | | | | reactions? |
| Oftentimes, people will tell you that they are giving | | | | Try a different approach. The solution lies in believing |
| advice because they care about you. However, to | | | | that neither one of you is either superior or inferior to |
| give unsolicited advice is not a loving gesture, for it | | | | the other. To realize this, I would like to offer for your |
| assumes that person knows better than you do. | | | | contemplation a quote from a shaman and spiritual |
| Moreover, once someone irritates you, is it common | | | | advisor named Charles Crooks. "You are part of the |
| for you to react with a similar unfeeling motion? | | | | whole, and not separate." Only under these conditions |
| Perhaps you snap back at them or offer some kind of | | | | can you believe you are equal. |
| defense. You may not even be aware that you are | | | | |