How Not To Be Disappointed This Christmas - A Practical Tip

Many years ago, when I was living in circumstancesmy own hands.*I* gave *me* what I need and
not quite like today, I invented something in the spur ofwanted.And the result was that I *actually GOT
the moment which is fascinating and has significantlyWHAT I NEEDED*.That's an amazing lesson, in many
improved my life.It actually started four months earlier,ways and on many different levels.Women are STILL
for my birthday in fact.I had wanted to buy somethingdeeply entrained to be the providers and to take
very esoteric for me - a personal development tapenothing for themselves; the "culture of everything for
set about wealth and success; but it was massivelyothers and nothing for you" is even more global than
expensive and although my husband didn't exactlythat and extends to EVERYONE.There are many
beat me with sticks on a daily basis, there would havethings about the bold move of DELIBERATELY
been NO WAY I would have been "given permission"choosing and wrapping a present complete with a
to buy this with the meagre family funds.This sort ofcard TO YOUR SELF which are remarkable.ALL the
thing was held to be "stupid" and "pointless" and "areligions say that you should give service - there is no
waste of money", and there wasn't anyone at all in mylogical reason to EXCLUDE one single person from
life at that time who would care enough or even try tothe service, of all the many people on this planet.8 billion
understand me enough to actually go out and buy it forminus - one?And that one is ... YOU?That makes no
me.Please. Start the violins! And then bring in the cellosense, but that's the way we have come to
section, for good measure!Ok, so I was feeble backunderstand it.In psychology terms, to exclude the self
then, had no self esteem, didn't know what I was doingfrom the service and devotion extended to others is
because I hadn't received my personal developmentactually pathological and a sign there's something
tapes yet :-) but I came up with the idea to sneak thewrong with you!One could argue, and I would indeed
money and then in order to have an excuse for havingargue this, that if you give gifts to other people but
the tapes around the house, to say that a girlfriend hadNOT TO YOURSELF, you are sending the wrong
given it to me as a present.I went into action. I soldmessage, big time.And practically speaking, this
some things, skimmed some of the money off theshouldn't be anything special. It should NOT be like the
shopping budget, ordered the set (without using thefirst time I did that - full of guilt or shame or so
family checkbook but with postal orders instead!); satsignificant or revolutionary as a concept.You should
on the doorstep for a week so I could intercept thejust simply be on your own shopping list at Christmas,
postman; when it arrived, I hid it carefully and then gotjust the same as everyone else you are buying
gift wrap, wrapped it, put a card to it and signed it withpresents for!Everyone should buy themselves a gift at
a greeting from the imaginary friend.Then I put it on theChristmas! And on their birthdays, and on whatever
hall table because now, it could be seen and stand upholiday or celebration their culture prescribes. They
to questioning.When my birthday came, I hadn't beenshould take the opportunity to express thus practically
so excited about it in YEARS.I raced down the stairstheir support and gratitude for all that was done, for
like a kid to get "my present", and even burst out intoWHO THEY ARE, with a small gift and a card which
tears when I opened it (which was explained with ancarries the words so they may be read, and
onslaught of PMT) and hugged it.It was the bestunderstood.That is in essence, a blessing.To perform
present I'd had in YEARS.Then, Christmas turned upthis ceremony on behalf of one's self is not only fair,
and even though I felt guilty as hell, I did it again withand more than that, it is a HUGE metaphor of
something I similarly desired.I've been doing this everintegration and integrity.It is a fantastic opportunity to sit
since.Now you may say that's not in the spirit of things,back and assess, very practically, where you're at,
but 25 years later and with the hindsight of awhat might make you happy, and to enter in a
professional career in counselling and psychologycommunication with the "forgotten self" that brings this
behind me that began with that gift I gave myself, Ione back into the fold of the 8 billion.This is not a selfish
would say that what I did there was to CHANGE MYact at all, but instead, a golden opportunity to ensure
LIFE.There was no-one there to give me what Ithat on many levels, this one person gets what they
wanted, and finally, I stopped waiting for thatwant; that this one person is as happy as
mysterious knight in shining armour, or the glowingcircumstances will allow; and you know, beyond all
angel manifesting on my doorstep, or the mysteriousmaterial goods, it really is the thought that counts.Dr
rich uncle who I never knew about, or my husband toSilvia Hartmann is the author of "Oceans Of Energy"
undergo some instant personality transformation so heand "Project Sanctuary".
would finally "get me", and instead, I took my life into