Improving your Relationships -- Relationship Dynamics From a Spiritual Perspective - Part 3

In Part 2 of this article, I discussed healing relationshipstimes to have a conflicting mixture of qualities in these
and soul agreements. Please see Part 2 for thisconnections. For example, I've known clients who were
information. Let's continue with Part 3, in which we'llstymied in trying to understand why a person who
discuss Soul Connections:was ostensibly a friend somehow also subtly felt like a
Soul Connectionsrival or competitor. Once the soul connections were
"We cannot live only for ourselves. A thousand fibersexplored and unraveled, the mixed quality of the
connect us with our fellow men; and among thoserelationship made more sense.)
fibers, as sympathetic threads, our actions run asIn contrast to connections that may remain somewhat
causes, and they come back to us as effects."consistent, I will also see, as I mentioned, combinations
-Herman Melvilleof these types of connections. For instance, two
Starting to get information on soul agreements led mepeople may be from the same soul group or same
to continue to explore the concept of relationships onsoul family and also be brother and sister or cousins or
another level and from another perspective. I nextteacher and student.
began to explore various types of soul connections.The types of soul connections I've mentioned tend to
Now, the soul connection that we are generally thebe between those we know and interact with over
most familiar with - and desirous of - is the soul mateand over again in different lifetimes. This continual
connection. It is certainly considered to be the mostinteraction over different lifetimes tends to forge a
sought-after one, and a relationship with our soul matesense of connection that is generally stronger than that
is one of the major things in life that many of us yearnwhich would be felt from interaction in perhaps just
for and actively seek. For some, it can be a lifelongone lifetime. This soul "familiarity" may also enable us to
pursuit. Indeed, we tend to place so much value on thefeel somewhat safer working out some of our stuff in
soul mate connection that we are often unaware ofthe framework of a learning relationship that is based
the existence of other types of soul connections thaton these close connections.
we may have with those whom we may know fairlySoul agreements may be made both with people with
closely. However, other types of soul connections dowhom we have soul connections, as well as with
exist, at least from the information I have received. Soothers to whom we feel no deep connection. And we
before we discuss soul mate relationships in moremay have both pleasant and unpleasant soul
detail, let's look at some other types of soulagreements from one lifetime to the next with those
connections.with whom we have soul connections. The variety and
At present when I look at relationships in sessions,combinations appear to be limitless. Certainly if a
whether romantic or those with friends, family, workperson we're interacting with closely comes from our
colleagues, children, or others, I will look not just at thesame soul group and is also someone with whom
energy dynamics or the resonating issues or lessonswe've had both pleasant and unpleasant soul
or soul agreements involved, but also at what theagreements, we may therefore experience mixed
overall soul connections may be. I do this because Ifeelings about that person, while at the same time
have learned that understanding what soul connectionsfeeling a strong connection with him/her. And, similarly,
there may be on the soul level can give us additionalhaving a same soul family connection with someone
insight into our relationships and their dynamics, as wellwith whom we've had problematic or antagonistic soul
as into why a relationship may have a certain feel to itagreements may help to take the sting out of the
or represent a certain type of challenge. I have thusoverall connection or absolve the more problematic
far seen many different types of soul connections andflavor.
combinations thereof and have been able to senseUnderstanding what some of the soul connections and
how they can color the nature of what oneor soul agreements may be operating in the
experiences in his/her interactions with others.background, so to speak, between people in
One type of soul connection I get quite commonly isrelationships can enable us to begin to understand why
that the people involved, usually in some type of closecertain mixed feelings may exist in different
relationship, are from the same soul group or samerelationships and how we can best handle the
soul family. Although I can not yet completely delineaterelationship or interact in it. Interestingly, I have seen
conceptually what that means in the greater schemeseveral cases in which two people had a general soul
of things, I intimate that the souls in a soul group or soulagreement to always come together in different types
family may have been created as souls at the sameof relationships in order to stimulate each other's
time or in a group (although, given the nonexistence ofgrowth, without any residual blame or "hard feelings."
time on the highest levels, I'm not sure that this makes(It's almost as if there were an agreement to have a
complete sense) and that these souls thus share abuilt-in "eraser" to eradicate any of the residual mutual
"kinship" not unlike families here on earth. Being frombitterness that any of their difficult relationships might
the same soul group or same soul family mayengender.) The potential is endless for the variety and
contribute to an underlying feeling of closenesstypes of combinations of connections and agreements
between people or to a sense of coming from thewe may have with other souls, including what the
same place, a feeling of kinship that can't be explainedresidual effects may be.
by other, more superficial characteristics (familyWe will usually experience a deeper feeling of
connection here, or race, or background). For someconnection to someone with whom we have a strong
reason that I do not yet comprehend, every time I getsoul connection and, concomitantly, less so to
a soul group or soul family connection, I always get asomeone with whom we may have a one-time soul
visual impression of the numerous souls in the group oragreement. This may explain why we feel an instant
family arranged in a circle next to each other. Althoughconnection to or bond with someone we meet or an
I feel that there is some significant meaning attachedinstantaneous sense of familiarity - that feeling that
to this geometric "being in a circle" configuration, I dosomehow we know this person we're meeting
not yet know what that meaning may be.ostensibly for the first time. Interestingly, it will often
I have also, thus far on only rare occasions, seen ahappen that we will meet someone for the first time
variation on this connection of same soul group or souland feel a very strong soul connection - and then, over
family. In this variation, I have sensed that two peopletime, as we continue to get to know and interact with
came from different soul groups or families, but thatthis person in real time, experience the feeling of the
their souls are so similar that they are like distantsoul connection subside, while the present connection
unrelated cousins or two expressions of the sametakes precedence.
complex vibration. Up to this point in time, I have onlyThe soul connections that can encompass diverse
seen this type of connection in souls that have sometypes of connections can really complicate some of
sort of inherent and greater than normal complexity,our relationships. For example, I've read clients whose
greatness, or potential for it here on earth. It's as if theirsoul connection to one of their children was that of
uniqueness or rareness meant that there were verystudent. In other words, the child was their teacher
few other souls who had a similarity. I'm still in the(over and above the usual way in which one's children
process of understanding this concept completely andcan teach one lessons). This adds another element to
will probably only begin to do so when I encounterthe usual relationship of parent-child, with the parent
more instances of it.trying to be the wiser and nurturing one!
There are other, more common soul connections. MostOn the other hand, a combination of soul connections
of these are experienced and expressed in familialcan also add a richness and texture to some
terms. I have sensed many soul connections that wererelationships that might not otherwise have been there.
those of siblings, whether brother and sister or sistersSuch soul connections generally underlie our
or brothers. I've seen parent to child and even uncle torelationships with those with whom we interact closely,
niece or nephew and cousins. Other soul connectionsfor example family, friends, co-workers - not to
may be more non-familial. A very common non-familialmention romantic relationships. I've seen clients who've
one will be that of teacher or mentor and student. Ihad wonderful relationships with their bosses or
have also seen soul connections that were those ofsupervisors - only for me to find a positive soul
colleagues, sometimes expressed in a positive andconnection with the boss as benevolent mentor in
cordial manner and at other times, in a negative orprevious lifetimes. Conversely, I've also seen some
antagonistic manner.difficult work relationships, only to discover an
I am still not completely sure what causes oroverriding soul connection of antagonism or unpleasant
contributes to the particular type of soul connections.rivalry. I've even seen instances of two people whose
The connection of being from the same soul group orconnection was that of always and consistently being
same soul family appears to be an inherent connection,rivals or competing with each other. This is apparently
coming from the "moment" of creation of souls, asthe means that they have chosen on another level to
mentioned above. Other types of soul connections,consistently stimulate each other's growth, which, again,
such as those of siblings or teacher/student, feel likemay tend to remove any bitterness.
they may have been forged through various lifetimes.Soul connections like these can also be confusing in
Indeed, I've seen instances in which the soul connectionromantic relationships. We will sometimes meet
between two people was varied, due to the differentsomeone with whom we feel a strong soul connection
roles they had played with each other in differentand interpret that to mean that, because there's a
lifetimes; they were (or had been) brother and sister (instrong soul connection, we're supposed to be together
one lifetime), but also colleagues (in another lifetime), foras romantic partners, whereas the actual soul
example, and others who were (or had been) spousesconnection may just be that of being from the same
to each other, as well as parent and child. (Thesesoul group or same soul family. I've seen clients who
varied soul connections, interestingly enough, will oftenwere strongly motivated to be in a particular
be felt in the relationship of those involved, so thatrelationship because they had felt a strong soul
there is a mixed quality that they feel in theirconnection from the outset with the other person and
connection or an overlay of different attributes.)for this reason thought they were supposed to be
Sometimes these soul connections will have an addedtogether. All the more reason why it's helpful to know
dimension of hierarchy, in that one of the two peoplewhat type of soul connection it may be.
(or souls) has traditionally been the "senior" one or theOn the other hand, it can also happen that we may
one with more clout or power.sense an initial aversion to someone we meet, just
Interestingly, these flavors in soul connections maybecause of an unpleasant soul connection - and this
change over time. For instance, two souls whosesense of aversion may shift over time as we interact
overall connection may have been parent-child, withwith and get to know the person in the here and now
one always having had power over the other, mayfor their present persona and essence. I've seen one
find that their connection equalizes over time or even incase in which a client had a strong initial dislike for
the space of one lifetime, so that the sense ofsomeone with whom he later became romantically
hierarchy evaporates.involved. As his initial dislike mutated into a romantic
These various types of soul connections will flavorinterest, he found himself having dreams of the other
what we experience in our relationships with othersperson, in which he felt that he was exploring his past
and often in a subtle manner. We may feel a particularlife connections with her. In every case, he dreamed of
closeness to a friend, for example, and then learn thather abusing him in various ways. Interestingly, the
our soul connection is that of sisters or brothers. Thispresent relationship between the two of them was
factor of soul connections helps to explain why wesomewhat dysfunctional, but was also a strong
may be feeling some sort of connection with certainlearning relationship as well. He ended up learning
people that can't be explained simply by the presentstrong lessons from this relationship that stimulated his
connection or nature of the interaction, or why wepersonal growth. In this particular case, his initial feeling
may be feeling a certain quality in the relationship thatof aversion was indicative of a difficult soul connection
has inherently been there from the very beginning; inand a foreshadowing of painful interactions. However,
other words, why we've had a specific feeling fromhe was able to mine great jewels from the
the moment we met someone who has later becomeexperience, even though the other person was not his
a friend that she has always felt like a sister, forsoul mate.
example, or even a rival. (It can be very perplexing at