| Do you ever abandon yourself and get sucked | | | | Assess the situation. Is the person who is |
| into another's crisis? Do you take on their | | | | having a crisis always in a victim mode? If |
| miseries like they are your own? If you are | | | | so, refer them to a coach, counselor, |
| single, it is important to be on guard for | | | | psychologoist, or spiritual adviser. If the |
| dates who have a need to blame or complain. | | | | person does not want to get help to solve the |
| They can be quite compelling in their story | | | | situation, but instead, wants to put it off |
| of sadness and can prevail upon your loving | | | | on you...beware. * Check your own ego. It may |
| heart.It is important to distinguish between | | | | be flattering to be selected as the only |
| people who have come upon hard times and need | | | | person who can help, but you are setting |
| a helping hand....from those who lead their | | | | yourself up to being in a quagmire of |
| life, one crisis to the next, and seem to | | | | unsolvable problems. Even if you help the |
| need their problems to identify them.Be on | | | | person get one issue resolved, 10 more will |
| guard for those who must tell one sad or | | | | appear overnight. * Ask yourself why you need |
| crazy story after another. If they don't | | | | to get involved with a blamer and complainer. |
| have something to complain about, they go | | | | One question might be, "What is there in my |
| looking for it. It's not that we don't all | | | | life that I might be running away from that |
| go through rough times. But these people | | | | makes me vulnerable to this person's plight?" |
| hang on to them, nurse them, and get mileage | | | | Do you have unresolved conflicts, and being |
| out of them.Victims are those who complain | | | | around theirs makes yours seem small...or |
| all the time that someone or something is | | | | forgotten?Caring and kind people can become |
| blocking their happiness, security, or | | | | caught in the problems of blamers and |
| ability to do what they want or need. They | | | | complainers, and let themselves be used |
| remain in a perpetual state of unhappiness, | | | | without realizing that they are not helping |
| also keeping those around them in turmoil. | | | | the situation...they are contributing to |
| They are unknowingly addicted to upset, and | | | | it.Stay present to what is important for you |
| it's always someone else's fault.If you let | | | | to focus on to make your life fabulous. This |
| yourself become absorbed by their cyclone of | | | | is how you attract and find someone |
| misery , you will not be available for the | | | | wonderful. Someone who does not need to |
| love and relationship you say you want.If you | | | | blame and complain.Visit or for more tips, |
| are a caring person who is a good listener, | | | | skills, and insight on dating, relationships, |
| how can you stop a knee-jerk reaction to | | | | singles, and love. Subscribe to our F*ree |
| taking on the problems of victims? * You need | | | | Savvy Dating Newsletter from master single's |
| reserves. Make sure you have your reserves of | | | | coach, life coach, and syndicated columnist, |
| energy, money, happiness, and health, well | | | | Tonja Weimer. Copyright 2006, Tonja Weimer. |
| stocked before you extend into another's | | | | (Please note source if reprinting this |
| territory of trauma. Set some safe | | | | article. |
| limitations on what you can and cannot do. * | | | | |