| Do you ever abandon yourself and get sucked into | | | | do. * Assess the situation. Is the person who is having |
| another's crisis? Do you take on their miseries like they | | | | a crisis always in a victim mode? If so, refer them to a |
| are your own? If you are single, it is important to be on | | | | coach, counselor, psychologoist, or spiritual adviser. If |
| guard for dates who have a need to blame or | | | | the person does not want to get help to solve the |
| complain. They can be quite compelling in their story of | | | | situation, but instead, wants to put it off on |
| sadness and can prevail upon your loving heart.It is | | | | you...beware. * Check your own ego. It may be |
| important to distinguish between people who have | | | | flattering to be selected as the only person who can |
| come upon hard times and need a helping hand....from | | | | help, but you are setting yourself up to being in a |
| those who lead their life, one crisis to the next, and | | | | quagmire of unsolvable problems. Even if you help the |
| seem to need their problems to identify them.Be on | | | | person get one issue resolved, 10 more will appear |
| guard for those who must tell one sad or crazy story | | | | overnight. * Ask yourself why you need to get |
| after another. If they don't have something to complain | | | | involved with a blamer and complainer. One question |
| about, they go looking for it. It's not that we don't all go | | | | might be, "What is there in my life that I might be |
| through rough times. But these people hang on to | | | | running away from that makes me vulnerable to this |
| them, nurse them, and get mileage out of them.Victims | | | | person's plight?" Do you have unresolved conflicts, and |
| are those who complain all the time that someone or | | | | being around theirs makes yours seem small...or |
| something is blocking their happiness, security, or ability | | | | forgotten?Caring and kind people can become caught |
| to do what they want or need. They remain in a | | | | in the problems of blamers and complainers, and let |
| perpetual state of unhappiness, also keeping those | | | | themselves be used without realizing that they are not |
| around them in turmoil. They are unknowingly addicted | | | | helping the situation...they are contributing to it.Stay |
| to upset, and it's always someone else's fault.If you let | | | | present to what is important for you to focus on to |
| yourself become absorbed by their cyclone of misery , | | | | make your life fabulous. This is how you attract and |
| you will not be available for the love and relationship | | | | find someone wonderful. Someone who does not |
| you say you want.If you are a caring person who is a | | | | need to blame and complain.Visit or for more tips, skills, |
| good listener, how can you stop a knee-jerk reaction | | | | and insight on dating, relationships, singles, and love. |
| to taking on the problems of victims? * You need | | | | Subscribe to our F*ree Savvy Dating Newsletter from |
| reserves. Make sure you have your reserves of | | | | master single's coach, life coach, and syndicated |
| energy, money, happiness, and health, well stocked | | | | columnist, Tonja Weimer. Copyright 2006, Tonja |
| before you extend into another's territory of trauma. | | | | Weimer. (Please note source if reprinting this article. |
| Set some safe limitations on what you can and cannot | | | | |